


They’re Fine!

by MarblesOnMarbles



Series: What We Do in the Bedroom [1]
Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Consensual, Dildos, Dirty Talk, Dirty Thoughts, Guillermo is horny, Guillermo is thic, M/M, Masturbation, Sex Toys, all the familiars are horny repressed 24/7, everyone is not straight, interrupted masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:20:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24870712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarblesOnMarbles/pseuds/MarblesOnMarbles
Summary: “Gizmo! One more thing!” Says Laszlo making Guillermo groan internally.“Yes?”“Gizmo, could you try the dildos for me? Me and Nadja want the very best for the long night of passionate lovemaking we have planned for tomorrow and don’t want any duds that won’t tickle the right places just right.” Laszlo says as though talking about dildos is the most normal thing in the world.Guillermo has lived with Nadja and Laszlo for years so he’s used to their weird sex talks. But even this has to be somewhat noteworthy in how plainly it’s spoken.“Sure.” Answers Guillermo, taking the bag and leaving the room.He might as well get some enjoyment out of the toys he bought.Or missing scene inspired by dialogue where Guillermo is trying out the sex toys and Laszlo comes to help
Relationships: Guillermo/Nandor the Relentless (What We Do in the Shadows TV), Laszlo Cravensworth/Guillermo, Laszlo Cravensworth/Nadja
Series: What We Do in the Bedroom [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1799587
Comments: 6
Kudos: 71





	They’re Fine!

Guillermo is buying dildos because Nadja and Laszlo asked him to. Standing in the weird sex shop four streets down from where the Vampires reside, Guillermo really wonders why they couldn’t just come buy them themselves. He’s not even their familiar yet half the time they treat him like it.

Guillermo doesn’t even know what kind they want. Vibrating? Butt plug? Anal beads? They probably don’t even know half of those exist if Guillermo is being honest.

In the end he decides to buy a bunch because why not? The more he brings back the more the couple will enjoy themselves and leave him alone. Then maybe he’ll be able to enjoy himself too. Being an indentured overworked unpaid servant meant that Guillermo barely even had time to sleep or eat or masturbate.

This was partly why he was still a virgin. Devoting your entire life to becoming a vampire had the unfortunate side affect of making the only normal day to day interactions you could have be when running an errand or getting virgins for a midnight snack.

Needless to say that Guillermo’s twenties had been muddled with barely repressed sexual frustration which the vampires could smell and would make sure to make fun of whenever they could.

Entering the house Guillermo is thankful to see no messes of any kind in sight. With the worries of cleaning up out of his mind he now only has to worry about delivering the toys and then he’s free to finally get rid of his... problem.

Finding Laszlow takes a bit of time because the house is very big and the vampires like to disappear from sight when they feel like. Thankfully Laszlow must smell the sexual frustration permeating through the air because it only takes Guillermo five minutes to find him. In Guillermo’s mind it’s five minutes too many but he’s used to the Vampires wasting his time when he’s like this.

“Here are your toys. I didn’t know which ones you wanted so I got a few.” Guillermo says putting the shopping bag on the table next to the antique loveseat where Laszlo is sat. He tries to quickly leave before anything else can be asked of him. Unfortunately he doesn’t abscond quickly enough before Laszlo starts speaking.

“Gizmo! One more thing!” Says Laszlo making Guillermo groan internally. 

“Yes?”

“Gizmo, could you try the dildos for me? Me and Nadja want the very best for the long night of passionate lovemaking we have planned for tomorrow and don’t want any duds that won’t tickle the right places just right.” Laszlo says as though talking about dildos is the most normal thing in the world.

Guillermo has lived with Nadja and Laszlo for years so he’s used to their weird sex talks. But even this has to be somewhat noteworthy in how plainly it’s spoken.

“Sure.” Answers Guillermo, taking the bag and leaving the room.

He might as well get some enjoyment out of the toys he bought.

Later in a small bedroom, Guillermo’s setting up is taking more time than he’d like but apparently prepping is very important so he painstakingly does it, going as fast as he can. Once everything’s done and he’s lubed up he finally gets down to choosing which toys he’s gonna try.

He settles on the dildo and vibrator, setting aside the anal beads and other toys for later.

As he spreads his legs apart, Guillermo feels a bit of the lube he’d used to open himself up run down from his hole. It’s warm and feels like what Guillermo imagines cum dripping from your hole feels like after getting used. Hot and messy.

It makes him hard.

As he starts rubbing his dick with his left hand he also starts massaging his inner thigh to get hard faster but not too fast. Otherwise he might not get too enjoy the full experience.

Once Guillermo’s dick is at full mast he slows down the tempo and takes the anal beads in the hand that’s not still massaging his stiff bone. One by one the beads on the chain go in until the whole chain is in. He feels full inside for the first time ever. The feeling oh so exhilarating.

As he starts pulling on the end of the toy, taking out the beads one by one, breath coming in more and more heavy and laboured. Heart beat speeding up.

Guillermo starts fantasizing to keep things interesting. Usually he’d fantasize about Nandor but tonight is one of those rare nights where instead he decides to instead fantasize about Laszlo.

As the last bead is pulled out Guillermo sets the chain aside, instead opting to use the pink dildo. He imagines that it’s Laszlo’s dick that pokes at his entrance, almost asking permission before slowly pushing in and out. He imagines what Laszlo’s cock would taste like, fantom taste making him embarrassingly lick his lips in want.

The pleasure he feels mounting is enough to start making Guillermo moan softly. It’s also enough to make him unable to notice when his bedroom door opens and someone steps in.

“So old chap, Gizmo, how are the toys?” Asks Laszlo.

“Ah! Laszlo~” moans Guillermo.

For a second, it’s as if Laszlo is frozen in the doorway. Yet as Guillermo continues to masturbate while pushing the dildo in and out something changes. In blink and you might miss it moment Laszlo’s eyes go from confused and surprised to something hungry, lustful.

In a few strides he’s across Guillermo’s embarrassingly tiny room, climbing onto the bed on all fours.

“I say Guillermo, I know every man feels desire but I didn’t know that you, meek little familiar could be quite so dirty.” Laszlo says as he puts his hand on Guillermo’s shoulder, chill skin making Guillermo’s own flushed skin feel like pinpricks.

“If I’d known you were quite the slut I would’ve taken advantage of this long ago. The amount of time I could have made you cum.” Whispers Laszlo into Guillermo’s ear making whatever blood was left in Guillermo’s head rush down to his throbbing erection.

He takes Guillermo’s hand off the dildo and instead puts his own on there. He starts thrusting the dildo back and forth, setting his own pace and making Guillermo’s hips rock to the rhythm in pleasure.

At some point Guillermo looks down Laszlo’s figure and notices the vampire’s own erection pressing hard against his trousers. Laszlo must notice him staring because he slows down his motions against Guillermo’s moans of protest.

“Toys are fun... but would you like the real thing?” Asks Laszlo.

“Yes!” Exclaims Guillermo without a moment’s hesitation.

“Alright then.” Says Laszlo before pulling his pants down to let his erection free in the air.

He feels the dildo be taken out leaving him feeling empty. Yet before he can complain Laszlo repositions himself on the bed and throws Guillermo’s legs onto his shoulders. Plump ass and anus exposed for the world to see.

Soon enough Guillermo doesn’t feel empty anymore as Laszlo lines up his cock to Guillermo’s entrance and pushes in easily.

“My! You’re very loose. If I didn’t know any better I’d say mine wasn’t the first cock you’d had tonight.” Said Laszlo salaciously.

The sound of Laszlo’s hips hitting Guillermo sound like music as he lay staring at the ceiling in pure ecstasy. Feeling more content than he has possibly ever has.

Soon enough the arms Laszlo has against Guillermo’s own start tightening their grip as the pounding gets more and more frantic.

“I’m close. Do you want me to cum in you like the dirty little slut you are?” Asks Laszlo

“Yes”

“Then get ready.”

Laszlo’s pushes start to get more and more intense bringing Guillermo closer and closer to the edge.Finally, in one sweeping motion Laszlo pushes hard into Guillermo, cumming for what feels like ages. Hitting Guillermo’s prostate at the same time making him cum all over both of their chests.

Finally, Laszlo pulls out of Guillermo, his body heaving to the left to lay down next to the man who’s spent is all over him. They’re both panting which is funny since you’d think vampires wouldn’t need to breathe.

“So Gizmo... how were the toys?” Asks Laszlo.

“They’re fine.” Says Guillermo still catching his breath. “Not as good as the real thing though.”

“I hoped so.” Chuckles Laszlo.“Well if you want we can try them out later.”

“I think I’d like that.” Says Guillermo to Laszlo.

**Author's Note:**

> I noticed there was nothing for this paring, nsfw or not so I decided to do something about it and this popped into my head. Hope you enjoyed and leave comments with suggestions on what I should write next.


End file.
